Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
