I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
