oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
