I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
