but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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