Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
