Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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