I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i think my cat just said my name.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
