My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
