I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
