Are we in a gay sports bar?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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