Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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