His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
