Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My ass is underappreciated
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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