Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
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I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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