I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
