her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
