Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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