He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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