i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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