420 ftw
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
North Korea, Best Korea!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
