You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
