im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
