He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
