My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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