went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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