You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
