Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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