I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
