Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
