I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She bit a glass in half.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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