I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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