The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
