I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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