did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
