are you so shy because you have an std?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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