He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
