why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just pee around me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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