Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she looked like the before picture.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
