p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
