SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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