Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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