we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
