There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
