Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
