Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
