Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
