I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
