We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize