am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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