Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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