Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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