Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
