It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
