we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
