I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
