Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize