if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
