i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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