so let's talk penis.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The Olympian is in my bed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
