I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
